Bio
I am a physician, a pilot, a son, a father, a Christian, and a crossdresser. My story is not so different from those of all my sisters. I cannot remember anything from my third year of life except that my aunt dressed me in a dress one day and painted my nails red. Why did this make such an impression on me that it is the only thing that I can remember from my third year of life? I don't know. I know that for most of my life, I tried to suppress the urge to dress and I did so most of my life. I was in a rather unique wing of the military during the Vietnam era and did the macho stuff but on quiet nights, my mind would drift off to thoughts of what it would be like to look like a lovely young woman, to wear pretty clothes and just feel like I looked nice. Later, I had the opportunity to go to medical school and in medical school I had the opportunity to study this type behavior when matriculating through my psychiatric training. I came to the inevitable conclusion that no one really knows why some people are like me and at that point I stopped really caring about why and began to just accept that it was just the way it was. Like most of my sisters, I dressed, purged and got rid of all my clothes and then would do it all again. This happened many times.
One thing that has become abundantly clear to me over the years is that, as with most things in human behavior, there is an entire spectrum of this behavior that is subsumed under the rubric of "Transgenderism". There are those like me who only enjoy dressing as a woman from time to time and consider it an art form to be mastered as any other art form. There is the other extreme where a man (or woman) desire to change their sex and actually do change their body to be in conformity with their mindset (They don't actually change sexes, just their body). And of course, there is everything imaginable in between. I have come to know many of these individuals over the years of my medical practice and have assisted many with advice, hormones or referrals to an appropriate surgeon. I understand where many of my sisters are coming from and where they hope to be after treatment and I try to help them be realistic with their expectations. I love them all, for it is indeed a challenge that they face. And, with societal judgments being what they are, family pressures (most wives don't want the fellow they married to wear their dresses much less go for a complete sex change operation), work pressures and peer pressures, it is not at all uncommon to see those of us inclined to this orientation become sad and even clinically depressed. Occasionally suicides result and this is really a sad situation when just a little acceptance, understanding and love could avert such actions.
In my particular situation, I decided early on not to spring this on my mate and have it destroy our relationship. She has been wonderful and has assisted me in perfecting my feminine image, but (and this is a really big "but"), she has set down rules and I respect them. I do not practice my "performances" and expect her to go out with me in our community. And, I am always certain that the image I present is tasteful and not crude or lewd. I would have it no other way and am quite happy.
After all these years I still do not know why and frankly, I don't care any more. I know that the act of dressing is extremely calming (a very common statement made by cross dressers) and it has served another useful purpose. It has helped me keep my weight off and to stay in good shape. No body wants to buy or have to wear fat girl clothes. And when I go out now, I enjoy dressing tastefully and often elegantly and have people at restaurants, concerts, the theater or other places treat me as a lady, holding doors, saying "yes miss" or "no miss" or otherwise refer to me as a female. I often travel out of town and will spend a week to 10 days "en femme" and I can honestly say that at the end of that time I am ready to get back in male mode (or "en drab" as we refer to it). Spending one more hour in pantyhose, heels and makeup is more than I can stand the thought of. However, I fully realize that I have sisters who long to be able to do this full time and my heart goes out to them because, as I've said above, I know where they are coming from and where they want to go....... and it is indeed a tough journey.
I hope this brief "Bio" has provided some little bit of insight into the world of us "aliens". We are out there among you, some say we compromise as much as 5-10% of the population. I don't really know, but I do know military men including tank battallion commanders, fighter pilots, emergency room physicians, truck drivers (one of my good friends and a very pretty "lady" is a cross country 18-wheel driver), CEOs of Fortune 500 companies as well as plumbers, mechanics, athletes and those from every walk of life. Just remember, we are not trying to threaten anyone or and do not want to be taunted, teased or ridiculed. We're just like everyone else except we possess an unusual ability to understand both sides of human sexuality and those that know us well genuinely appreciate our "softer side".
Love,
Chryss
